Michael, I have to say - that's sick and twisted! ;-)

I mean, "sick and twisted" in a fiendishly clever and diabolical world taking-over kind of way!

...ohhh, the possibilities.

If you wanted to put type on two surfaces at one like that penguin's belly, could one just cut the type on the plane in two representative sections and wrap them on the two respective surfaces?
Is there some measure to control on where things line up and are positioned once processed?